[it’s not like koby can’t measure his responses – he can, he has, he does most of the time, bottles them up and boxes them away for later, for another time, another life. but will has a way of drawing them out coaxingly, soothing and caressing until the walls crumble, until the dam sags enough to let in the ebb of deep, dark water, and koby doesn’t notice until it’s pooling around his ankles, his knees, his waist. until there’s no choice but to sink, because swimming’s never been an option, not with doctor graham.
so he lets his knees rock open, apart, one nudging the hard bulge almost carelessly, curled against will’s chest and moaning open-mouthed into the crook of his neck, near-cradled, a pieta sort of pose – he’s been to rome, he’s seen it, he’d been compelled by the fragility of the held body, the power and stoicism of the holding. but he’s no christ, and will’s no virgin mary, so koby rocks his hips up once more, grinds into the hand cupped between his legs, then pulls away.]
Y-Yeah, I can. I can. [gulping, earnest, like will’s mouth hadn’t left his neck, his ear tingling, singed with contact, with the forbidden bliss of his tongue, his teeth. like koby couldn’t feel every touch like a brand, imagining it layered on top of thousands of other touches and burning them away, all in one measure. he wonders, mildly, what will had fed him, what sort of drug is taking effect, but he waits until he’s up on his shaky legs, then down on his wobbly knees, hands on his doctor’s thighs, pushing them apart and bullying his way between them.
it’s there, there only that koby pauses, a penitent kneeling, tips his chin up and drums his fingers against will’s firm thighs.] What’d you give me? [pointed, bemused even, tilting his head to one side and letting the overgrown fluff of his hair fall into his eyes.]
[ soft, giving koby's bottom a gentle squeeze as he rises, will's eyes following his movements with every turn. he can't remember when their sessions turned into this, into something fraught with tension and lust and want. they've talked through these sessions before - will playing with koby and guiding him through murky waters until the next moment he's bouncing in his lap.
every time will graham plucks at koby alvida he finds something new, delectable, addictive. he reaches down to press koby's chin between forefinger and thumb - raising his head before fingers slide up and into his hair, gripping gently. ]
You asked for Xanax, didn't you? [ it's not an answer, though, is it? ] Weren't you going to show me something?
[there’s a coltish sort of awkwardness in koby’s movements, even now, because will’s so damn good at unpeeling his layers, at making him feel seen in a way that’s fucking terrifying and fucking bliss at the same time. there’s no need to pretend, no need to fake it, no need to be anything but will graham’s good boy, and while he’s been cagey about the why and what and how, koby’s let slip a few things – that he’s lonely, that he’s miserable, that his adoptive mother has a grip on him both terrifying and inescapable. that he does anything she asks, seduces or threatens or robs anyone she points to, because he doesn’t know how to do anything else anymore.
more telling, perhaps, is the way koby’s eyes go glazed and heated when will’s hand slips into his hair, when he grips and tugs up, secure, safe, held. whatever he does, whatever comes next, koby wants, wants it laced with the haze of whatever drug is pumping through his system even now, wants it any way will chooses. it’s an escape, an addictive one, and koby doesn’t really wanna think about how he’d be without it.
a soft huff, reaching up to slide his hands over the familiar shape of will’s dick in his pants, palming the thick heft of it, then squeezing, before moving to undo his belt.] Doesn’t mean you gave me Xanax, doc. I’m not stupid. [koby rolls his eyes upwards, sticks out his tongue, lets the stud catch the light, leave his lips plush, wet.] Gonna let me suck you off or what? Once this shit really hits I won’t have the coordination to do anything but get fucked over your desk, y’know.
[ he strokes his fingers back through koby's hair, soft and tender in a way that doesn't match the hungry, dark energy burning behind his eyes. he smiles, knowing and amused as koby sticks his tongue out and reaches for it, pressing his thumb against the little piece of metal, his fingers under koby's chin. it's brief - the way he swipes his thumb over the piercing, but he tilts his head. ]
Are you going to suck me off or are you going to continue to pout at me? [ a tap of his wet thumb to koby's nose, smearing it against the skin, then his chin. ]
I gave you Adderall. I thought you might enjoy something different.
[ either calm him down or crank his anxiety up - either or both, will loves an experiment. ]
That the only reason? [given with a knowing arch of his eyebrows, even as his tongue chases after will’s fingers, teasing the taste of his skin – salt, sweat, medicinal, like chewing aspirin dry, but sweeter.] Pretty sure there are a couple other reasons why you enjoy me, Doc.
[koby’s eyes go crossed momentarily, chasing the tap of will’s thumb as his hands move on their own, expert, familiar with the feel of will’s belt, the drag of his zipper down, down, the weight and heat against practiced fingers as they pull his cock free, thumb seeking the wet of the head to circle, press.] You like when I pout. Or cry. [a laugh, tongue going out, teasing, just the tip following the path his thumb had taken.] You really like when I cry, don’t you, Will?
[adderall – koby steers clear of prescriptions, usually, never sure how they’ll interact with the t, hating the unpredictability of their effect, perhaps avoiding memories of a hazy childhood where his constant anxiety was treated with a list of drugs that just made him mellow, calm. his eyes are already going hazier, relaxed, though he can feel his heart pumping in his throat as he swallows, sighs, gaze fixing upward as he drops his mouth open, sticks his tongue out and teases the piercing over the head of will’s cock.]
no subject
so he lets his knees rock open, apart, one nudging the hard bulge almost carelessly, curled against will’s chest and moaning open-mouthed into the crook of his neck, near-cradled, a pieta sort of pose – he’s been to rome, he’s seen it, he’d been compelled by the fragility of the held body, the power and stoicism of the holding. but he’s no christ, and will’s no virgin mary, so koby rocks his hips up once more, grinds into the hand cupped between his legs, then pulls away.]
Y-Yeah, I can. I can. [gulping, earnest, like will’s mouth hadn’t left his neck, his ear tingling, singed with contact, with the forbidden bliss of his tongue, his teeth. like koby couldn’t feel every touch like a brand, imagining it layered on top of thousands of other touches and burning them away, all in one measure. he wonders, mildly, what will had fed him, what sort of drug is taking effect, but he waits until he’s up on his shaky legs, then down on his wobbly knees, hands on his doctor’s thighs, pushing them apart and bullying his way between them.
it’s there, there only that koby pauses, a penitent kneeling, tips his chin up and drums his fingers against will’s firm thighs.] What’d you give me? [pointed, bemused even, tilting his head to one side and letting the overgrown fluff of his hair fall into his eyes.]
no subject
[ soft, giving koby's bottom a gentle squeeze as he rises, will's eyes following his movements with every turn. he can't remember when their sessions turned into this, into something fraught with tension and lust and want. they've talked through these sessions before - will playing with koby and guiding him through murky waters until the next moment he's bouncing in his lap.
every time will graham plucks at koby alvida he finds something new, delectable, addictive. he reaches down to press koby's chin between forefinger and thumb - raising his head before fingers slide up and into his hair, gripping gently. ]
You asked for Xanax, didn't you? [ it's not an answer, though, is it? ] Weren't you going to show me something?
no subject
more telling, perhaps, is the way koby’s eyes go glazed and heated when will’s hand slips into his hair, when he grips and tugs up, secure, safe, held. whatever he does, whatever comes next, koby wants, wants it laced with the haze of whatever drug is pumping through his system even now, wants it any way will chooses. it’s an escape, an addictive one, and koby doesn’t really wanna think about how he’d be without it.
a soft huff, reaching up to slide his hands over the familiar shape of will’s dick in his pants, palming the thick heft of it, then squeezing, before moving to undo his belt.] Doesn’t mean you gave me Xanax, doc. I’m not stupid. [koby rolls his eyes upwards, sticks out his tongue, lets the stud catch the light, leave his lips plush, wet.] Gonna let me suck you off or what? Once this shit really hits I won’t have the coordination to do anything but get fucked over your desk, y’know.
no subject
[ he strokes his fingers back through koby's hair, soft and tender in a way that doesn't match the hungry, dark energy burning behind his eyes. he smiles, knowing and amused as koby sticks his tongue out and reaches for it, pressing his thumb against the little piece of metal, his fingers under koby's chin. it's brief - the way he swipes his thumb over the piercing, but he tilts his head. ]
Are you going to suck me off or are you going to continue to pout at me? [ a tap of his wet thumb to koby's nose, smearing it against the skin, then his chin. ]
I gave you Adderall. I thought you might enjoy something different.
[ either calm him down or crank his anxiety up - either or both, will loves an experiment. ]
no subject
[koby’s eyes go crossed momentarily, chasing the tap of will’s thumb as his hands move on their own, expert, familiar with the feel of will’s belt, the drag of his zipper down, down, the weight and heat against practiced fingers as they pull his cock free, thumb seeking the wet of the head to circle, press.] You like when I pout. Or cry. [a laugh, tongue going out, teasing, just the tip following the path his thumb had taken.] You really like when I cry, don’t you, Will?
[adderall – koby steers clear of prescriptions, usually, never sure how they’ll interact with the t, hating the unpredictability of their effect, perhaps avoiding memories of a hazy childhood where his constant anxiety was treated with a list of drugs that just made him mellow, calm. his eyes are already going hazier, relaxed, though he can feel his heart pumping in his throat as he swallows, sighs, gaze fixing upward as he drops his mouth open, sticks his tongue out and teases the piercing over the head of will’s cock.]