disarrayed | saltburnt inbox;

[ the manor will never feel like home and will never feel like a place that he can fully settle. he wakes up every day with the itch of something under his skin, a nagging at the back of his mind, and a disquieting restlessness. this place has no answers, no real reason, and maybe that's why it bothers him so much.

he's tried for a swim in the lake today, the sun warm enough and the water warmer. it's not like the creek at home, but it does something to help settle his mind in the same way fly fishing had done for him. it's the middle of the afternoon when he steps into the bathroom, shirtless and in boxer briefs, intending to jump in the shower.

well. if there wasn't someone he didn't recognize there. so will just sort of blinks at first, glances toward harry's door. he knows better than to go knock, if this is one of harry's guests. ]

Do you think you'll be much longer?

[ he's considering whether or not he needs to start up the bath, instead. ]

[ After an indulgent afternoon of lovemaking in between episodes of Blue Planet, the time unfortunately comes where Tim has to freshen up. Happy and relaxed from his layabout with Harry, he doesn’t think anything of it when the door opens, and in fact has half a mind to invite him in. That is, of course, until he speaks, and it is very much not Harry, making him squeak with surprise and grab at the curtain, nearly yanking it from its rings. Rather than pull it open, he makes a neat little hole with it, to poke his head between the curtain and the wall, careful to keep everything else covered.

Yes, definitely not Harry. His face goes red from embarrassment and indignation – I mean, from the heat of the shower – and then he shuts the curtain again, rings clinking against the rod. ]

Just a few minutes. But you should knock when you hear the shower running.

Hi, Will.

I know this is coming pretty belated, but I want to apologize for flirting with you when we were our other selves. It wasn't appropriate.

Are you feeling better now?

You don't have to apologize. We weren't ourselves.

I'm myself now - dealing with the aftermath of everything else.

How are you feeling?

Ourselves or not, we all have the memory of doing things we're not proud of. I've been trying to look at it as a lesson, or a cautionary tale.

I'm alright, though. Things are finally settling down. At least for a while.

I want to ask you something. If that's alright.

For now.

[ he's new to this place and to think things like this are normal and frequent makes his stomach churn. ]

And yes, you can ask. I'll answer as best as I can.

For now.

[ Concerning, the things you can get used to. ]

You know I'm really close to Harry.

[ What with the coming and going at random hours of the day, the shower incident, how frequently they can be seen together around the grounds. Even if Harry hasn't told him outright, it's clear as day.]

It was hard not to notice the bite mark. He assured me that was just the other you, but I have to ask. That's not a habit, is it?

No.

I don't do that.

[ not with the memory of hannibal so close. sure, he knows he's eaten hannibal's victims before - or could only assume - but it wasn't something he chose. ]

That's not who I am.

Okay. I believe you.

I'm sorry to even ask. It's crazy. But you never know around here. Vampires and werewolves and killers and all kinds of things.

I had to ask myself the same question when I woke up.

Does this place do things like this often? Turn everything into a living nightmare?

I wish I could tell you no.

This is the first time it was like this, though. This place lowers our inhibitions, and makes us hallucinate. Nothing like a shared mass delusion that lasted over a month, though

Great.

[ definitely not great at all. ]

This place turned me into someone I know last month. Made me in their image.

I tried to kill that man before I got here.

[ He was really not expecting an attempted murder confession out of this, because he did believe Harry. But...this is what he gets for thinking he knows what to expect. ]

Oh.

Well...if he was the kind of person to take bites out of people like that, I guess I can understand why you did it.

I worked with the FBI. He fooled all of us.

[ and has still managed to fool many of them. but those are details he can't touch - it makes something angry and real burn in his gut. ]

He didn't stop at one bite. [ and it never started with a bite. ]

I won't hurt Harry again. I promise you that.

I guess he wouldn't, if the FBI were involved.

Good. I've never fought with a cop, but Teo did.

That was supposed to be a joke, not a threat. Sorry.

If you're a friend to him, you're a friend to me.

Thankfully I'm not a cop. If I was, I'd have to interrupt your next shower and question you. They don't really like threats.

[ he's joking, but who knows over text. ]

That's also a joke.

Harry's a good man. It's good he has you.

You're gonna force me to wait until I get home to wash up? We're not being that disruptive, are we?

He is. I feel really lucky.

No, you're not. But you'll have to consult the snails - see how they feel. They're closer.

[ another joke, because yes their bathroom has snails and yes, they seem to collect a few more here and there. he doesn't have a specific interest in them, but their presence is so familiar now, he doesn't think twice. ]

They have the final say.

They like me, thank you very much!

Then your showering privileges are safe for now.

Just keep the snails out of the shower and knock, and I'll do the same. :)

No promises on the snails. That’s Harry’s domain.

Thank you, Tim.

Thanks for suffering my questions. I'm sure I'll see you soon 😀

You were missed.

Where are you?

Outside. By the lake.

I need to see you.

[ everything feels too bright, too sharp, too real. from a month of being anything but himself, to a month of the commune and its roles, to death. will can't be sure that anything is real, that all of the dark and hungry thoughts he's had since arriving here are just that - the product of this place, and not the truth deep, deep, deep in his soul.

he moves slowly, the stomach wound healed but still feels angry and sore. he's pale, dark-eyed, curls a sweaty tousle. but there's harry, and he wants to trust it. wants to believe that the man he sees is the man he remembers. ]

Are Horace, Constance, and Arthur safe?

[ because what else can he do but stand there and apologize for being stabbed. ]

Edited 2025-10-27 04:05 (UTC)

[Harry watches Will approach with a lump in his throat. He sees that he's being cautious about his wound, sees the feel circles under his eyes.

Harry himself looks exhausted and in need of a shave. At Will's question he manages a smile, but his voice shakes.]

I'm afraid I let them go after the fire.

Will.

[He steps toward him, reaching tentatively for an embrace.]

I remember.

[ that he kept the snails safe, that he set them free in the wet grasses of the commune after the fire. it feels like a lifetime away, those months ago, and as harry steps toward him will follows suit, wraps arms around harry's middle and leans into him, burying his face into his shoulder. ]

Harry.

Edited 2025-10-27 05:18 (UTC)

[Harry has been holding it together. He walked beside Tim the whole way home, smelling Hawk's charred remains. At the manor, he set about checking in on people. Rebuilding a space that was comfortable to live in. He managed that while keeping a stiff upper lip, offering comfort without allowing himself to ask for any.

But Will saying his man's puts cracks in his armour and he finds himself hugging him back desperately. When he speaks his voice is choked.]

I am so sorry. I tried. I really tried.

[ he wraps his arms round the man, squeezes tightly. the first person he's seen face to face since all of this, and one of the most important. he read the letter, has it tucked into the pocket of his shirt to keep. he has so few things even in his life outside of his place, but those that are meaningful, he keeps. ]

I know.

[ a breath and he nuzzles in against Harry's hair next, nosing into it, breathing him in. he's real. he's a live. they're here together. a mantra he repeats over and over in his head. ]

You did a good job, Harry. You're safe. That's more important.

[Harry tries to keep it together, he really does. But as he clings to Will his chest heaves a few times and then he's sobbing, unable to form words at all.]

[ will only holds harry tighter, buries his face into his hair. he reaches to hold the back of his head with one hand, keeping him molded and pressed close as he cries. yes, this is real. if this wasn’t, harry wouldn’t be crying like he is now. ]

Thank you for trying. Thank you for the letter. I -

[ a huff, as he tries to find the words. ]

We’re both safe now.

I didn't. I didn't know. I got it all wrong and I didn't stop anyone, I didn't save anyone.

[He forces himself to breathe, pushing the panic away. He doesn't try to speak for a bit, nor does he try to pull away.]

Oh, Will. Will I am so thankful that you are back.

I missed you.

There’s no saving anyone here. There aren’t any winners. That’s not what they want. It’s all spectacle, pre-ordained. It has to be.

[ he’s been chewing on it for so long, trying to pick at this place and analyze it, to no avail. there aren’t any coherent, solid patterns, but there are themes. motifs. ]

You did everything you could with what you had.

[ he presses a kiss to his forehead, mouth resting there. ] They mean to make us monsters, just like they are.

[Harry continues to cry, and it feels like bleeding out. His hands find Will's chest and bunch into the fabric of his shirt.]

They do. They do, and it's working.

No.

[ he runs a hand through harry’s curls, scratches at his scalp. funny the comfort he feels around this man. how he can look at him and feel the bleeding heart of him. there was no one like this at home - no one who saw the world with open eyes and so very little dark motive. ]

It isn’t. We’re still the same, at the core of it all. They won’t win every time.

[Harry nods. Right now he doesn't believe it, but if Will does he thinks he can maybe pull himself back, can rediscover the light in people.

People are good, he tells himself, ignoring the part of him that finds it foolish.]

Yes. Yes, as you say.

[He exhales a shuddering breath and then sniffles. He lets go of Will to search his pockets for a handkerchief.]

My apologies, Will. You should not be the one to comfort me when it's you who has been through so much.

[ harry lets go but it gives will space to reach for the man's face, to thumb under his eyes and wipe tears from the skin there. funny how easy it is to feel raw and open around harry, but so much has happened in such a short time. ]

I'm fine now.

[ another swipe, then a tug forward, lips to his forehead. ]

I've been stabbed before. That one was much worse than this one.

[ except for the death part, maybe. but hannibal utterly gutted him and left him to bleed and bleed and bleed. ]

Are you?

[Asked me in curiosity than in doubt.

His arms slip around Will's waist.]

I never stopped thinking of you.

What can I do for you now? You can ask for anything, anything at all.

[ he tightens his hold on the other man, smoothing a hand up his back, grounding himself in the person he first met here, and here he is meeting again after death. ]

You don't need to do anything for me.

[ why should he repay the house's debt? ]

We should probably figure out if our rooms are in one piece or not. [ a sigh, and he buries his face into harry's shoulder. the pain in his gut feels real still, even if it's all healed over. ]

Make a new place for new snails.

But I want to. I swore I'd bring your killer to justice, and I didn't. I failed you, Will.

[Harry clings to him, a single sob escaping his throat. But when he can speak, he does so steadily enough.]

Oh. I've been given a room. A large one, with tanks and display shelves. We shall keep the smails there. It's our own little museum.

I. Tim's going to move into my room. Is that alright? Sharing the suite with the two of us? He's left Hawkins. So that's... I want to say it's good, because I'm pleased to have him, but... I feel awfully about it, too.

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